Sunday, October 26, 2014

Into the Darkness

(This is vaguely what they look like)(p.s this is for English so I'm not this creepy in real life ;).)
Terminated?! My work terminated?! Just because they believe I have mental decay. I have spent my entire life, a useless 62 years, for my inventions to help the colony of the Mooniversity and Galaxy Hills. My precious S.P.I bots, they were made to protect the people  it is not my fault that they are now killing. Hunting. Biting. They are everywhere, my creations. Exactly one thousand of them are now biting. A small laugh escapes me, it is like a wild mans, high and closer to a yell than anything. It doesn’t surprise me. The accursed Mooniversity will pay for what they have done to me. I start at the sound of a pair of foot falls. Are they real? Or is it all in my head? I can’t tell what is real and what is make believe, the line is blurred if it is still there. My mind toys with me. Lowered voices floats to where I am standing, staring at the door I think I left a jar. 
“ Dr. Crate has gone mental I heard that he doesn’t talk to anyone. He is only 62 but he seems 102. Also he looks like he has not slept in weeks!” a woman’s voice retorts. A man’s voice replies saying “I know, he always look like everyone is trying to get him. Some how his hair seems like it has a life its own and its whiter than normal.” 
The conversation faded away down the abandoned corridor. Glancing at a small fractured mirror faded and dirty from disuse I saw a man. He was thin with a once white lab coat hanging loosely from his shoulders. His face was hollow and gaunt, his hair a large shock of white that looked like a small ferocious animal. That man is me! “I look like a mad scientist!” I croaked at the mirror, the man in the reflection copied. My voice cracked from not being used for ten years. As I  gape at my own reflection I come to a conclusion, I am a mad scientist after all who could have created such wonderful little devils? Then again their turn in attitude was not of my own construction. Screams and unintelligible cursing resinates off the cold unpainted metal walls. The two scientist have been attacked by my fantastic little bots. A single blur of white, the man by the sound of it, crashes past my now open door. In his shadow there is a red glow from a S.P.I on the hunt. Another shout as the S.P.I hits its mark, the small area on the sides of the ankle that resides behind the protruding bone. Suppose I should know the name, I did once. Sobbing now accompanies the sharp tapping of the metal tips of the S.P.Is feet on the floor. The two scientists are now poisoned where there is no found cure. The shrill beeps await for the authorities to arrive. Their GPS beacon must be appearing on the closes Mooniversity’s police monitor only to turn off once they are within a 20 feet diameter. It was suppose to be that way so criminals would not be able to find the S.P.Is and destroy or capture them. Now it makes it more difficult to find them, HA it is terrific! I see one of my beautiful S.P.I bot at the door, its small sleek black cage shine in the artificial light. The visual lenses and tranquilizer solution softly pulse a blood red light. Eight legs skittered towards me, it stops at the foot of one of the first work tables. Beauty in its darkest form. While others see Death, pain, and horror I see Life.
“ So there are three of you in the building since there were the two scientists then me. There were no crimes committed here nor any criminals, no one has done anything wrong. You were suppose to only sedate wrong-doers not killing everyone. Then again you are so good at it” I said. It stares blankly at me, it now rests a few tables closer, five more tables until it reaches me, for some reason it pauses every now and again, I should fix that. If I were not unemployed I would. The glowing solution transfixes me, did I not make that very substance white to represent peace that my inventions would bring? It lopes three more tables. I find myself sitting at my desk witch is the furthest from the door. “ I thought I lost you.” I loosely commented to the paused S.P.I that I now recognized as my first working prototype “is the back leg still a bit short? It explains why you don’t run quite as well as your brothers and sisters. Although you were never much of a runner, you preferred ambush.” I answered to its questioned look. Or is that my mind? “Now what made your solution turn red?” I think I said aloud. I look down at it as it sinks its needles into its primary target zone. I watch the venom exit the S.P.Is glass vial and flow through the “teeth”, as some people see it. As the hollow tubes retract they are red from my blood, yet I do not bleed that I am sure of, after all i designed it that way. It begins its high-pitched beeps starts. It is insanely irritating, after all I have done nothing wrong. I read the smaller print of the bot that sat before me. Superficial, Preservation, Invention. This project was suppose to protect the people of the Mooniversity colony not to slowly kill them in a extremely painful way! What went wrong? Moving towards the now inactive and drained S.P.I bot, it calculates my intentions of no harm simply movement and remains stationary. I pick up the fist sized piece of death and gently place it outside my only lab door. Pushing the door closed and sliding the dead bolt to a locked position a sigh escapes me. A breath of resignation? A ghost of pride for my beautiful bots? Maybe. I survey my lab. No windows, gray dull walls, and every available space full of clutter. Soon it will be different, very different. There is several long even scratches at the closed door. Seemingly unending shrieks of sharp pointed metal against the unmoving barrier of an entrance. The sound amplifies in the prison of a room it makes my weak ears ache and my already pounding head spin. However this may all be simply from the poison getting into my blood stream and racing towards my heart yet to be distributed into my other extremities. I laugh, a true laugh, for the first time for a very long time. It is a loud booming roar that fills every inch of space. Louder and louder. I stop finding myself on the frigid floor, tears of laughter roll down my empty cheeks. Why am I laughing? I don't know nor do I care. Would it be a result of joy? It is a possibility, wicked delight would be more accurate. I am such a clever man to think of and create such effective little bits of metal. And now they threaten to destroy the human race, ha ha HA! So clever. Peering at my hands I hoist myself up. Continuing to eye my phalanges, they have worn, become old, slow ,and unreliable. The teeth gritting sound of metal being scratched ceases. Small taps replaces it as the S.P.I prowls down the corridor until nothing can be heard. The S.P.I that had pricked me is now gone, suppose it is off to hunt and execute some other ill-fated soul. Wait! It can not possibly bite another for at least for three hours, that is the required time for the venom to restock itself. Searching frantically for some type of device that might tell the time, frustration overtakes in a blind whirl a table is now clear of glass and paper alike now falling to the floor. Pulling up my sleeves to clear yet another desk I find a watch on my wrist. Did I put it there? No matter. Three hours has past since I was contaminated! How can this be? It was only moments ago! Ah but how time flies when you are dying, I chuckle to myself. I start to tinker, it will keep my aged hands busy while the venom becomes more and more dangerous with every loud heart beat. Tha-duh tha-du. Too loud only if I could escape the sound. An idea comes to mind, my mind is clear and so remains free from poison. If anything my brain is sharper than ever it is simply my physical body that is failing me. There fore I must remove my conscious from this pile of bones and dispose of them. I start to build with intent. Soon a black tinted Plexiglas blooms beneath my fingers. Heavens know how much time has passed but I sit and stare at my future home for my brilliant mind. It has similarities to the standard S.P.I bot however this one has no openings. It is indestructible, venom replenish time one hour, and it will have every part of my mind. I will live forever and be indestructible! I will have my revenge upon the people who dare to oppose me! At the back of my mind I knew this would one day happen. Rummaging through the large amount of boxes strewn across the enire room. I start by pulling wires from old prototypes, monitors from boxes, and equations from the bulletin board. The very equation I needed was tucked in the upper corner of the board. It is out of my reach, out of anyone's reach in fact. I find a suitable box that might aid in the equations retrieval. Even standing on the box the slip of paper is a hairs breath away. Reaching and stretching, I almost have it. I almost had it. Whatever object was in the box gave under my weight, most likely it was glass. My hand drags down the overfilled board as I fell. I stare at the artificial light as it shines indifferent to my pain, mocking me for my failure as it still works. Gaping for breath that refused to come I mentally curse the light. Papers that I had torn off flutter like birds and perch around me, one landed on my chest. Eventually air slowly and painfully fills my lungs again, soon I will not have to have pain anymore, I shall BE pain! I gradually remove myself from the floor and scan the paper that so rudely landed on me. Could it be? The equation! Supplies now fill my ever racing mind. I have them already collected, constructing the actual device that will transfer my mental ability into my new polished black machine. I get to work, however soon I became tired and fell into a restless sleep filled with death, pain, and evil glee. The now familiar sound of scratching tears me from my beautiful nightmare. Some how the mental import device lay complete before my very eyes. Had I slept at all or had I somehow completed it before unconsciousness over took me? No matter I must hurry before it is too late. Within 15 minutes everything is set up. I sat my old aching body into a chair and wired myself in the device, only a few things remained to do. I retrieve a beaker of white solution and pour it into my future body, it gives a faint white glow through the tinted glass.  Perfection. The sound of metal on metal still rings through the lab making my head feel worse. I can't stand it! Rushing to the door I throw it open, the S.P.I freezes one claw in the air where the door use to be. I walk back to my desk, it follows with an air of death hovering about it. I adjust the wires about me on my conscious machine. I did not fully compute the deep gouges in the door until I was seated, it was almost in. It was etching out a box in the door to come through. Now it just sits and stares. Silently judging me. Taunting me. Laughing at me though no sound comes from it besides the quiet clicks of the gears. "I have a perfect body while yours fails and is aging. I am immortal and you are not." the S.P.I jeers. "Not for long" I sneered back. Slamming my finger down on the "Enter" button and braced myself. At first nothing happened, but slowly pins and needles started in my toes. It is like a loading bar, an excruciatingly slow loading bar. Trying to move my foot that is now numb, I see movement in the corner of my eye. The active S.P.I is now gently prodding my future body. But that is not the movement that captured my attention. My glass S.P.I was moving its feet. It is responsive! Soon the areas of pins and needles become excruciating hot, as if a fire was set beneath my legs. The heat soon flipped to cold and stillness. This cycle continued as the numbness edged through my body. It is at my neck. I am fixed on the two different S.P.Is on the table. One is absent. I feel metal on my ear, I look through the corner of my eye to see its bright red eyes inches from my own. I try to laugh at its primitive curiosity, but the only thing that might be related to a laugh was more air escaping my nose. That was the best I could muster in my state. The cold deadness is at my neck, shifting my gaze I focus on my future body that I now control. My vision begins to blur and blacken, then turns red as I look through red tinted lenses as eyes. It is complete. I am immortal and indestructible. I know who my targets are and I would feel pity for them. If I was human.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Masks

This applys to everyone.
We all have masks that hide how we truly feel. Adults have more transparent masks because they are adults what they say goes so it easier for them to show how they really think. But sadly not for us, being a teen is not easy, we are NOT stupid, we just sometimes don't think things through. Now back to the mask that we all hold so dear.

Our masks come in all shapes, sizes, transparencies, color, and style. After all we made them. We made them to protect ourselves from disappointment, anger, frustration. Sadness. They are not very good at their jobs. Instead they lock them inside of us until we break, for some we crack. For others we shatter. I myself crack, they are long deep cracks. So I wear my mask and think " Well I better just put on a show, never let them see the cracks. Never let them see the real me, it's too blunt, too ugly, not good enough." I convince myself that everyone was fine with my mask, well then so was I. 

But that is a lie! A lie that destroys us, our mask is too well worn. It knows when to smile and when to frown. It knows us too well. Please let us help each other to take off the mask and see the real beauty, passion, and love we all have within us. I want it for everyone as well as myself. For there is one thing that the mask does hide perfectly. And that is our light, the burning glow within us that wants to be so desperately free. But we keep it under a bushel. If we, together, loosen our masks then there is no force in the universe that can stop our light. 

Love you guys <3 Shan 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Explanation of dancers in the street

This is just something random I thought of so it'll be a story but just not consistent, the parts or chapters I guess will be scattered around. Hope you enjoy them!
<3 Shan 

Dancers in the street

Introduction
No one noticed at first, the couple standing in the currently abandoned road. Who would notice a pair casually chatting to each other. But little did they know. Then again no one knew them, this is where we began. This is Sally, my partner is James. We are going to become legends in the dance world. 



Saturday, October 18, 2014

The hurricane within

This doesn't just count for girls it goes to the guys out there too!
This force within can be a great motivation to great things or it can completely tear one apart.
This may apply to you but this is just me talking on my past/present situation. 
I have felt like I have to keep up with everything and be the perfect daughter, student, friend, and sister all the time.
I was drowning.
How I understood life was if you get a good education then your life would be great. Now this isn't not true but one must also have a balance, which is sometimes difficult to maintain. 
The balance between social life, personnel time, family life, and time spent doing homework and studying. 
Today I am sitting on a beach with a calm warm sea. Somedays I don't do one of the balances, but that is how I balance my life happily. And it's okay. Now at times there will be rough seas and perhaps even a hurricane, that's okay, it happens to remind us that the hurricane is still there and that we have so much ability to control it.
Now this may not apply to you but I do helps you understand something
<3 shan

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Travelitis

When one has traveled as much as I have so gratuitously been able to there are some mental stuff after a while of not traveling anywhere. I am use to leaving my home at least once a year, generally more. especially when I lived in England and the World was closer than it ever was! But now back in the states the World seems like a distant idea. Anyway....

The dyognostics of Travelitis:
~ Feeling stuck in a state or area when you haven't been away for at least six months.
~ Paniced when your passport expires
~ Feeling as if part of your soul is missing and it is just a black hole of emotions 
~ Nausea 
~ Sadness when you see pictures of different places or hear stories from other peoples travels
~ Constantly on edge
~ A muscle irritation, for me, in your lower back/ tense muscles.

The cure:
Go somewhere!!

<3 shan =)



Normal?

This is inspired by a fellow blogger;) 
Normal is not real it is a figment of the Worlds twisted brain. We are trying to become something that doesn't exist in short. And my daily life is too much for some people and others is too much for me, that's how it goes. It is good to be different, to be special, to be ourselves. No it is not bad, yes some people will think its weird well so what they are just fakers or they are weird too. Everyone is special =). Have a happy fall break everyone hopefully I'll get more posts up now that I have time =)