Tonight I had a show, it's called One Acts. Really short fun scenes from lots of plays. Anyway I totally thought I wasn't going to make it because I don't have any of the experience as a casual actor. But I did I made Ensamble with K.B and it was amazing! I loved working with K.B and all of the actors and actresses, everyone was fantastic! And to by dear J.J thank you so much for being kind to me and letting me talk and voice my opinion, I hope we get to work together again soon! You are a doll sent from heaven! And to all of those who encouraged me to try out when I had no hope of becoming even a small part of the drama family. Thank you T. L, Cole., L.H, and N.H for pushing me into the life I've idolized but was too afraid to peruse because of my self esteem. Thank you for being firm and inviting all at the same time. Thank you to everyone who was there with me, I was in a very dangerous tail spin, I had too much on my plate and how could I toss a show into my schedule anyhow? I felt like I could never be a part of the amazing drama kids I've thought were the absolute cool kids at the school. I thought that our Drama teacher was a slightly scary awe inspiring man who I want to get to know more in the future. I thought I couldn't make it, why even try? I can't sing, I can't dance, I have motivation and dedication issues. I can't act. But being in One Acts helped me see the TRUTH. I have the energy of a chihuahua on a double shot espresso. I have the projection potential. I have the passion of the theater in my heart that I hold above everything else. I have everything I could possible want or need, Family, friends, a passion.
I have been a few theater productions, but I've always been in the back. And I've never known why.
Was I not good enough? Was I just not the favorite? But it doesn't matter anymore, because of One Acts I got my first play with lines! A chance to voice my character, to voice who I really am.
This feeling I hope I can begin to expand on this and give it justice.
Before the show I was full of nerves that swung from " pfft I've got this" to utter horror that can not be voiced, it just simply made me shake. Most of the time I would have both at the same time which generally resulted in me grinning from ear to ear and shaking like a leaf. Probably looked like I was crazy!
On stage is the eye of my nervous storm. Utter recollection of everything in my usual disorganized head. Not saying I didn't forget some thing but it was the calmest and happiest I've felt in a long time. It was peace. I rarely feel peace because my mind is running ten different directions, but performing with an amazing partner that I trust completely, I felt complete peace and focus.
After the show I watched everyone got to work after a few chats with parents in the lobby. But techies and actor/actresses help take down a huge false stage. Being on an even higher sugar and adrenalin rush I somehow got myself into holding a door open. Sounds lame, but it wasn't! I have no arm strength and I've come to terms with that but holding a door open and giving everyone a bouncy smile was the best I could offer. The team work, dedication, young authority, and organization I saw moved me. Ah I'm getting a bit off topic but oh well. So the post-production high, this last as long as your around the other cast members for me at least. This feeling of accomplishment that you made someone feel a different emotion then they were feeling earlier is extremely empowering. It felt as I could fly and i might have been on how much I was bouncing! endless energy, no weight of cares, a heart full of love, I was on cloud infinity. With every simple "good job" my confidence soared higher then it's ever been. And all of this is thanks so a friend in my seminary and old math class who thought he should tell me to try out for something I've never heard of because he thought it would be fun. And it was it was the best!! And thank you to the drama kids in my math class who explained and encouraged me to audition. I owe you more than you could ever imagine.
To all the new drama kids I've met, you are fabulous, spunky, and crazy! Stay true to you, I've come to truly love all of you for the light and laughs that you have given me in what use to be a dark time. I love you all so much!!! =) I really hope that we can continue down this path and become even closer friends
<3 Shannon B
No comments:
Post a Comment